Bipolar Lovers in Love (& Poem Zines)

by Cusi Coyllur

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04:01
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00:43
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about

My heart is open.

credits

released March 25, 2018

ASCAP Shannen Nicole Roberts / Shannen Roberts Music
Copyright 2017 Cusi Coyllur

Album photo and polaroids by Daisy Noemi
Poem Zine photos by Sara Corona

Mastered by Evren Goknar
Produced by Bill Lefler, Sam Sobo, Tim Thomas and Kevin Roberts

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all rights reserved

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about

Cusi Coyllur Los Angeles, California

Cusi Coyllur (coo-see coy-your), an Inca princess name, is mental health advocate Shannen Roberts. Featured on HuffPost, Ms. Magazine and Madame Gandhi’s Spotify playlist “The Future is Female,” her domestic abuse awareness music video “amivulnerable?” and zine are out now. She also teaches yoga, founded alternative self-help blog and guide The Strange is Beautiful and tables at zine festivals. ... more

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Track Name: One, two, buckle my bra
one, two, buckle my bra
three, four, break the law
five, six, light up cancer sticks
seven, eight, everything's fixed.
Track Name: Woke Up From a Lazy Dream
Woke up from a lazy dream
Psychedelic reality

Deer in the headlights
in a room
Pitch black
Beauty stained
Held back
Constricted in
Pitch black
Fear subconsciously
My future reality
Forget forgive
Retreat repeat

Chorus: When my mind woke up

Woke up from a lazy dream
Moving to a new beat
Excavate my mental state
Free on a clean slate

Woke up from a lazy dream
Moving to a new beat
Beauty grows freely
In a world with no walls

Woke up from a lazy dream
Moving to a new beat
First step off the streets

Chorus: When my mind woke up

Woke up from a lazy dream
Tryin’ to control me
Tryin’ to get a hold of me

Chorus: When my mind woke up
Track Name: No Point in Stopping
No point in bringing up
Raw
Skin
It’s already sunken
The ships been manned
Storm after storm
Yet she keeps on sailing through for more

It’s already sunken
Nooooo!
No
point
in
stop-ping.

She defends
He'd never do her wrong
No matter
She knows it all
Hes her baby.

Everyone else can poke her push her stab her and she'll fight them back
but lover can't bite cuz love is day and night true or false she takes it all.

What are you going to do now
Water you going to do now
Sea water on open wounds
Will never numb
Pain til it’s done

It’s already sunken
Nooooo!
No
point
in
stop-ping.
Track Name: Blank Space feat. Genevieve Artadi and Shai Golan
Blank space
You'd rather stare into
Blank space
Instead of into my eyes

Numb to the hurricane
Numb to the wine stains

Blank tapes
You'd rather listen to
Blank tapes
Instead of hearing my cries
Track Name: amivulnerable?
I don't feel love anymore
I don't feel anything anymore
Here
Now.

Rearrange my words
So you hear what you like.
Rearrange history
Hide
In time.

I am numb
Can't leave you
Here
Now.
I am numb
Frozen
Your warmth
Is gone.

Draw a time machine
So we'll relive
Happy memories
Time machine makes no difference
Can't hide
In time.
Track Name: Grow
When you had me
I was someone else
I could not believe
You blinded me
Too young, too young
Too young to know
How the story goes
Naive I’ve
Grown
This is how it goes
I can make my life grow
Grow it around me
I know
I can do what I want
Believe in what I know
Will grow
I will grow, to know.

When you had me
I was someone else
I was never myself
I could not believe
You blinded me
I was
So scared
To young, too young, too young to know
How
The story goes
Naive
I’ve grown
I’ve grown
This is how it goes
I can make my life grow

Grow it around me
I know
I can do what I want
Believe in what I know will grow
I will grow to know

You weren’t what I need
You weren’t what I want
But I
Tried to
To believe that you’d grow
Grow you around me

I need to believe
I believed my lies
Lies I tried to grow
I can make my life grow

Grow it around me
I know
I can do what I want
Believe in what I know will grow
I will grow to know
Track Name: Inadequate
Playing music makes me feel inadequate
I should quit
When trained musicians listen to me
I feel amateur
Not enough technique
I’m not unique

Playing music makes me feel inadequate
I should quit
When I ask my friends to listen to me play
I feel needy
Sometimes their reactions seem so forced
And so fake
No one cares they felt nothing
So why
Do I pretend
Music is my thing
I suck at it
I’ll just work a 9 to 5 and feel
Inadequate
Inadequate
Inadequate
Inadequate
I should quit.
Track Name: Nano 2 (feat. Tom Neale)
Lyrics:

Hostage of a leech
Trying to take my
Everything
That I have worked
My whole life
Claim it to
Be your right

Hostage of a leech
Draining me fast now
The end is near
It’s my turn
To be loud
Everyone
Believe me now

Hostage of a leech
Been told to ignore
So many submissive years
To the crown but now
I
Will be loud

Hostage of a leech
I finally see
You for what you are
No more
Excuses
For what you
Do to me

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