Woke Up From a Lazy Dream

by Cusi Coyllur

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It never feels like I’m in control of my body or my thoughts when I have a panic attack and it’s as if someone else has entered my body and is forcing it to shake, hyperventilate and scream.

“Woke Up From a Lazy Dream” is a metaphor for the feeling when the drugs wear off and so does the feeling of being “cool.” Many of my friends in high school revealed they had tried to commit suicide or were depressed and took drugs to cope. It was a scary realization that I was overwhelmingly not alone at the time in how I felt and dealt with it.


Woke up from a lazy dream
Psychedelic reality

Deer in the headlights
in a room
Pitch black
Beauty stained
Held back
Constricted in
Pitch black
Fear subconsciously
My future reality
Forget forgive
Retreat repeat

Chorus: When my mind woke up

Woke up from a lazy dream
Moving to a new beat
Excavate my mental state
Free on a clean slate

Woke up from a lazy dream
Moving to a new beat
Beauty grows freely
In a world with no walls

Woke up from a lazy dream
Moving to a new beat
First step off the streets

Chorus: When my mind woke up

Woke up from a lazy dream
Tryin’ to control me
Tryin’ to get a hold of me

Chorus: When my mind woke up


released November 13, 2017
Produced by Bill Lefler at Death Star Studios
Mastered by Evren Goknar
ASCAP Shannen Nicole Roberts / Shannen Roberts Music
Copyright 2017 Cusi Coyllur


all rights reserved



Cusi Coyllur Los Angeles, California

Cusi Coyllur (coo-see coy-your), an Inca princess name, is mental health advocate Shannen Roberts. Featured on HuffPost, Ms. Magazine and Madame Gandhi’s Spotify playlist “The Future is Female,” her domestic abuse awareness music video “amivulnerable?” and zine are out now. She also teaches yoga, founded alternative self-help blog and guide The Strange is Beautiful and tables at zine festivals. ... more

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